So said miss5 as I was driving along.
Me: No, I don't have tentacles like an Octapus.
Miss5: I mean like when a dog licks itself, like on grandad's cup. Do you have them?
Oh. Testicles.
Please don't
I told you not to :~)
Read more...
Showing posts with label merl post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label merl post. Show all posts
Mar 23, 2009
Nov 24, 2008
You treat me like I'm your slave
So said Miss4. as she took some breakfast plates through to the kitchen.
Our wonderful big girl is taking off reading, and has just discovered where I have hidden all of my graphic books. No, not like that silly. Asterix, Dilbert, Calvin and Hobbes and The Farside. The latter three are impenetrable due to their heavy use of irony, which is beyond her at present ("Calvin is a naughty naughty boy").
But she can and does devour Asterix, which has lead to a number of interesting questions about Romans, punching people, slaves, and of course, falling into the magic potion.
We now have the kinda good problem where she just goes and hides for long stretches of the time and we find her sitting on the toilet or in her room reading. Jobs take a distinct second place, which is why we have to be firm, which is why apparently we treat her like a slave.
Which is why we have to explain to her.....
Read more...
Our wonderful big girl is taking off reading, and has just discovered where I have hidden all of my graphic books. No, not like that silly. Asterix, Dilbert, Calvin and Hobbes and The Farside. The latter three are impenetrable due to their heavy use of irony, which is beyond her at present ("Calvin is a naughty naughty boy").
But she can and does devour Asterix, which has lead to a number of interesting questions about Romans, punching people, slaves, and of course, falling into the magic potion.
We now have the kinda good problem where she just goes and hides for long stretches of the time and we find her sitting on the toilet or in her room reading. Jobs take a distinct second place, which is why we have to be firm, which is why apparently we treat her like a slave.
Which is why we have to explain to her.....
Read more...
Nov 6, 2008
I have a secret - a merl post
And it is this: Today is the sixth day of Movember. It's a great opportunity for the women in your life to develop character.
The rules: Have a bare lip on October the 31st, and then compete with other guys at work to grow the best moustache (something which you have almost no control over). All in a good cause.
This year it's even more exciting than usual because Miss4 and I have decided to keep my Moustache growing a 'secret' from the wif.
Comments from Miss4 in the last week:
The rules: Have a bare lip on October the 31st, and then compete with other guys at work to grow the best moustache (something which you have almost no control over). All in a good cause.
This year it's even more exciting than usual because Miss4 and I have decided to keep my Moustache growing a 'secret' from the wif.
Comments from Miss4 in the last week:
Won't she be so surprised? But don't tell her. It's our secret.Read more...
It's so soft and warm (stroking what is essentially three day old stubble).
You should stop talking to mummy and tell her not to talk to you. That way she won't find out you're growing a moustache.
Oct 30, 2008
Who you should vote for - a Merl post
Every wonder why otherwise sensible and intelligent people could make the absolutely awful and unfathomable decision of choosing to support their terrible political party, the party which would take the country to hell in a handbasket and would make you consider emigrating to another country if they won the election? Me neither.
So without further ado, here's a guide to voting for the parties in the upcoming New Zealand election:
Act. You should vote for the Act party because they are the natural party of libertarians. Standing for both economic liberalisation to moral permissiveness, if this is you then Act is your party. Please disregard the hypocrisy of Rodney voting in lock-step with National to condemn several morally permissive pieces of legislation, or the fact that he spoke up in favour of those issues before he became leader of what is left of the Act party. He proudly represents Act's founding principles and puts party before self, even if the party might only be himself after the next election. Vote Act!
National. You should vote for National because it really isn't such a big deal that what the party says in public is quite different from what they say in private. Please. Give us more credit than that. Since everybody know about National's 'secret agenda' of welfare cuts and selling state assets to anonymous donors, it isn't really a secret agenda. It's like advertising really. It's not a lie if the advertiser doesn't expect the public to believe it. And that's why you should vote National.
United Future. Vote for Peter Dunne because you might get an extra MP who you've never heard from into parliament. But at least it won't be the Christian Democrats!
New Zealand First. Accounting is hard. Really hard. That's why most people pay accountants to handle their finances for them. Who could blame Winston for taking a pugnacious and grandstanding approach to dealing with the media, when it's precisely this approach that has served him so well for his entire political career? So what that only legitimate disciplinary approaches for his alleged misbehaviour need to come from either the Prime Minister or the Privileges committee, both controlled by Labour and amounting to a smack on the back of the hand (note: written before the privileges committee found against Winston). If Labour disciplined him before the election they would be committing electoral suicide by bringing down their own government, and who expects them to put principles above political power? They are politicians. Winston is New Zealands most consumate politician, and really, who in parliament is more interesting? You should vote for New Zealand First.
Labour. Usually the major opposition party campaigns on a 'get the buggers out' platform. You should vote for Labour because they've apparently forgotten that they are the incumbent government and are arguing for re-election primarily to protect the treasury benches from National. And charges that they are a tired party with no new legislative ideas (having passed fewer pieces of legislation in the last term than any government in the last 20 years) are ridiculous. Who cares that in the last term they have frequently resorted to the delaying parliamentary tactics usually used by the opposition to obstruct legislation simply because they don't have any other pieces of legislation ready to be debated next. They are not National. And that's why you should vote for Labour.
Jim Anderton and whatever he's calling his party at this election. You should vote for him because there just might be enough people like you this time round to get Matt Robson back into parliament. Maybe.
Maori Party. You should vote for the Maori Party because they reject all the PC rubbish of recent times. Call a spade a spade, and they do. Multi-Culturalism is absolute rubbish, and serves only to distract people from what's really important, Bi-Culturalism. The Maori Party take a refreshingly different approach to campaigning. They are the only party not slavishly courting your party vote (since they will be creating an electoral overhang in parliament and really don't need party votes to hold the balance of power post-election). And that's why you should give your electorate vote to the Maori Party.
Greens. You should vote for the Greens because although they are not and never will be more than a minor party, every private members bill that passed in the last term of government was a green initiative (although they were definitely helped by the Labour government not having any government legislation that they really wanted to pass, making more private members days available than usual). If you want more social engineering and moral decay in society this is the party for you. Remember the anti-smacking bill? Outrageous. People should be allowed to assault their children as God intended. And climate change? Please, that is the product of media hysteria and has been thoroughly debunked. You should vote Green. Read more...
So without further ado, here's a guide to voting for the parties in the upcoming New Zealand election:
Act. You should vote for the Act party because they are the natural party of libertarians. Standing for both economic liberalisation to moral permissiveness, if this is you then Act is your party. Please disregard the hypocrisy of Rodney voting in lock-step with National to condemn several morally permissive pieces of legislation, or the fact that he spoke up in favour of those issues before he became leader of what is left of the Act party. He proudly represents Act's founding principles and puts party before self, even if the party might only be himself after the next election. Vote Act!
National. You should vote for National because it really isn't such a big deal that what the party says in public is quite different from what they say in private. Please. Give us more credit than that. Since everybody know about National's 'secret agenda' of welfare cuts and selling state assets to anonymous donors, it isn't really a secret agenda. It's like advertising really. It's not a lie if the advertiser doesn't expect the public to believe it. And that's why you should vote National.
United Future. Vote for Peter Dunne because you might get an extra MP who you've never heard from into parliament. But at least it won't be the Christian Democrats!
New Zealand First. Accounting is hard. Really hard. That's why most people pay accountants to handle their finances for them. Who could blame Winston for taking a pugnacious and grandstanding approach to dealing with the media, when it's precisely this approach that has served him so well for his entire political career? So what that only legitimate disciplinary approaches for his alleged misbehaviour need to come from either the Prime Minister or the Privileges committee, both controlled by Labour and amounting to a smack on the back of the hand (note: written before the privileges committee found against Winston). If Labour disciplined him before the election they would be committing electoral suicide by bringing down their own government, and who expects them to put principles above political power? They are politicians. Winston is New Zealands most consumate politician, and really, who in parliament is more interesting? You should vote for New Zealand First.
Labour. Usually the major opposition party campaigns on a 'get the buggers out' platform. You should vote for Labour because they've apparently forgotten that they are the incumbent government and are arguing for re-election primarily to protect the treasury benches from National. And charges that they are a tired party with no new legislative ideas (having passed fewer pieces of legislation in the last term than any government in the last 20 years) are ridiculous. Who cares that in the last term they have frequently resorted to the delaying parliamentary tactics usually used by the opposition to obstruct legislation simply because they don't have any other pieces of legislation ready to be debated next. They are not National. And that's why you should vote for Labour.
Jim Anderton and whatever he's calling his party at this election. You should vote for him because there just might be enough people like you this time round to get Matt Robson back into parliament. Maybe.
Maori Party. You should vote for the Maori Party because they reject all the PC rubbish of recent times. Call a spade a spade, and they do. Multi-Culturalism is absolute rubbish, and serves only to distract people from what's really important, Bi-Culturalism. The Maori Party take a refreshingly different approach to campaigning. They are the only party not slavishly courting your party vote (since they will be creating an electoral overhang in parliament and really don't need party votes to hold the balance of power post-election). And that's why you should give your electorate vote to the Maori Party.
Greens. You should vote for the Greens because although they are not and never will be more than a minor party, every private members bill that passed in the last term of government was a green initiative (although they were definitely helped by the Labour government not having any government legislation that they really wanted to pass, making more private members days available than usual). If you want more social engineering and moral decay in society this is the party for you. Remember the anti-smacking bill? Outrageous. People should be allowed to assault their children as God intended. And climate change? Please, that is the product of media hysteria and has been thoroughly debunked. You should vote Green. Read more...
Aug 13, 2008
Farside quick hits - a merl post
Miss1's favourite thing in the world at the moment is to wait until you unbuckle her from her highchair, then grab the straps and promptly work diligently at buckling herself back in. This game can easily take upwards of 20 minutes. Mastering the plastic safety clips gives her a 'who just drank the cream' smile, and her efforts for some reason remind me of the following Gary Larson cartoon:
Read more...
Knowing how it could change the lives of canines everywhere, the dog scientists struggled diligently to understand the Doorknob PrincipleOn a related note, you know what's way less fun than it sounds? Deconstructing Farside humour for Miss4 to explain why those things are funny.
Read more...
Jun 16, 2008
Two things to teach your children - a merl post
I was talking with a friend at work about child raising and my arms were getting really sore from patting myself on the back all the time.
It got to a point where I said "There are really only two things that you need to teach your kids: _________ and _________."
I wonder, if you could only teach your kids (or kids-to-be for some) two things, what would you choose, and why? Read more...
It got to a point where I said "There are really only two things that you need to teach your kids: _________ and _________."
I wonder, if you could only teach your kids (or kids-to-be for some) two things, what would you choose, and why? Read more...
Jun 2, 2008
The marshmallow experiment - a merl post
I've used this as a lesson theme several times in Childrens Church over the years, and it never ceases to amaze me at how key this concept is. In thinking about "wisdom" and what that is exactly, I think more and more that wisdom in it's distilled essence is the ability to choose the long term benefit when faced with a short-term/long-term decision.
From the wiki:
The list goes on and on. (I still think thinking you will want to live with someone when you're 70 is a good mate selection criteria).
Not everything is long term though. You still have to live your life on day at a time. My grandmother scrimped all the way through her life and was then horrified to find that late in life both she and her husband needed medical care with the first $660 per week unsubsidised. So she watched $30K of life saving per year evapourate in medical care that she had thought her whole life that the goverment would provide for. There's no point in denying ourselves completely now for a future that may not turn out the way we are expecting it to. We have to live our lives now.
But somehow these 'moist robot' bodies we find ourselves encased in seem much better at preferring the short term solution, even when it's not to our benefit (want that sofa? get it on Hire Purchase now!). Anyway, hope this isn't too preachy.
Later. Read more...
From the wiki:
The marshmallow experiment is a famous test of this concept conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University and discussed by Daniel Goleman in his popular work. In the 1960s a group of four-year olds were tested by being given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.[2]Here's some decisions:
a. Wanna buy those shoes or save for your retirement?
b. Have a trip around the world or pay off the mortgage?
c. Go out with someone 'exciting', or pick a life mate you want to live with when you're 70?
d. Cut you arms with a knife or go into rehab for your drug addiction?
e. Give your kids a playstation, or plan out a set of activities that interests them through the day?
f. Eat some chocolate, or go for a jog? (....)
The list goes on and on. (I still think thinking you will want to live with someone when you're 70 is a good mate selection criteria).
Not everything is long term though. You still have to live your life on day at a time. My grandmother scrimped all the way through her life and was then horrified to find that late in life both she and her husband needed medical care with the first $660 per week unsubsidised. So she watched $30K of life saving per year evapourate in medical care that she had thought her whole life that the goverment would provide for. There's no point in denying ourselves completely now for a future that may not turn out the way we are expecting it to. We have to live our lives now.
But somehow these 'moist robot' bodies we find ourselves encased in seem much better at preferring the short term solution, even when it's not to our benefit (want that sofa? get it on Hire Purchase now!). Anyway, hope this isn't too preachy.
Later. Read more...
Jan 13, 2008
Embrace your inner scotsman
We certainly do anyway, and it definitely helps in keeping food bills under control.
Dinner this evening was a fabulous affair, and if you're not at one with your inner scotsman you may find that itemising and costing out the ingredients in a meal to be a dry and joyless affair, sucking all enjoyment of the meal away and leaving a headache in it's place. I pity those people. But for those who find thriftiness a virtue it's an exercise worth pursuing.
Random on Toast has served us well over the years, the basic formula is (proteins) + (fresh things) on toast.
Protein: Pretty much any good source of protein. Avacado, Liver and Egg were the workhorses here, but Baked Beans, Cheese, tinned Salmon/Tuna, mince or other meats all fill the protein hole well.
Fresh Things: Again, whatever plant material you want to eat (within reason). We're finding that new season silverbeet replaces lettuce in salads with nary a whisper.
Food that tastes great, but doesn't cost the earth. Read more...
Dinner this evening was a fabulous affair, and if you're not at one with your inner scotsman you may find that itemising and costing out the ingredients in a meal to be a dry and joyless affair, sucking all enjoyment of the meal away and leaving a headache in it's place. I pity those people. But for those who find thriftiness a virtue it's an exercise worth pursuing.
The recipe: Random on Toast
serves: 3 and a toddler
Raw ingredients:
2 Onions ($0.40)
60gm liver ($0.40)
2 Tomatoes ($0.50)
1 Avacado ($0.80)
4 Eggs ($0.70)
a dozen olives ($0.50)
7 slices of toast ($0.30)
Leftover salad from lunch (free - recycling)
Butter, herbs (free)
Total cost = $3.60 (roughly $1 per person)
1. Chop onions and simmer with some butter and herbs for a good 10 minutes or so (onions *must* be well cooked before eating, otherwise they are much too sharp). While simmering, slice tomatoes and avacado. Set aside half the avacado in a bowl for your precious miracle. Finish dicing liver.
2. Add liver. Continue simmering for another minute or so, stopping when the liver is cooked (which will happen very quickly if it is sliced into tiny pieces). Set aside herbed liver and onions.
3. Add more butter and 4 eggs (at the same setting), and ignore. Start pumping toast out. When the final toast goes in, switch off the eggs.
4. Put one egg into the little one's bowl, mix well.
Using toast continents on each plate, make small city states of tomatoes, avacado, olives, egg, and liver/onion. Ring with barbarian Salad.
Random on Toast has served us well over the years, the basic formula is (proteins) + (fresh things) on toast.
Protein: Pretty much any good source of protein. Avacado, Liver and Egg were the workhorses here, but Baked Beans, Cheese, tinned Salmon/Tuna, mince or other meats all fill the protein hole well.
Fresh Things: Again, whatever plant material you want to eat (within reason). We're finding that new season silverbeet replaces lettuce in salads with nary a whisper.
Food that tastes great, but doesn't cost the earth. Read more...
Dec 29, 2007
Where has our baby gone?
We've just come back from a lovely couple of weeks visiting grandma and grandpa. When we went up, we took a Miss3 and a wee baby (Miss0) who sat on the floor and played with her toys while smiling at everybody.
Now she can take herself up to standing against a blank wall, and is just learning how to edge her way around the coffee table. Which has made us realise how un-toddler safe our house is, given that her hazard assessment abilities are currently nil. The bottom three rows of books in the bookcases will need to be held in with bungys, and the kitchen becomes a no-go zone.
And so the wheel turns. Read more...
Now she can take herself up to standing against a blank wall, and is just learning how to edge her way around the coffee table. Which has made us realise how un-toddler safe our house is, given that her hazard assessment abilities are currently nil. The bottom three rows of books in the bookcases will need to be held in with bungys, and the kitchen becomes a no-go zone.
And so the wheel turns. Read more...
Dec 19, 2007
A Miss3 story from Petone
As she was going to bed tonight, Miss3 shared this with me:
When I was five, I lived by myself and didn't have any parents. So, I had to get some parents. The first set of parents weren't very nice to me, so they had to go away. The second set of parents seemed really nice, but they were really forgetful.... But I kept them anyway.Read more...
Dec 4, 2007
Nov 25, 2007
The Miss3 isn't sleepy and wants to be tickled instead song
Miss3 made a song request tonight as she was being put to bed. She came up with the title and I got to improvise the words (and actions).
"The Miss3 isn't sleepy and wants to be tickled instead song"
"The Miss3 isn't sleepy and wants to be tickled instead song"
There was a young girl called Miss3,Read more...
who was in bed getting ready to sleep.
She laughed and she giggled all over the bed
as she got tickled from her head to her feet.
She wriggled and slid all over the bed,
and laughed as she was tickled all over.
For tickles and rumbles are lots of fun,
coming from a dad or sometimes a mum.
Nov 10, 2007
The booster seat label is LAW
I was coming home this evening at about 7.30 pm with both girls ready for bed. handymum was staying with her mum for a wee bit.
Miss3: Are you going to carry the baby into the house?Read more...
Me: Yes.
Miss3: I want you to carry me in too.
Me: Ok. I'll carry her in and then come back and carry you in.
Miss3: You see this label? (pointing at a safety label on her booster seat). It says "don't leave child in the car alone". That means you should carry me in before the baby.
Nov 3, 2007
Miss3 and the baby goat
Last weekend Miss 3 and I went out to a farm to pick up some unpastuerised milk (which has it's detractors). Along the way we saw and fed the calves, as well as a wee goat kid that was 10 days old.
When I was recapping her day with her that night, we had the following exchange:
When I was recapping her day with her that night, we had the following exchange:
Miss3: And at the farm, there was a billy goat, and a nanny goat, and a baby goat!Read more...
Me: What do you call a baby goat?
Miss3: It's a baby goat. That's what you call it.
Me: A baby cow is called a calf. And a baby goat is called a kid. And you are a child.
Miss3: No, I'm not a child. I'm a darling.
Oct 16, 2007
A Miss 3 original: pets
This just in from putting Miss 3 to bed:
Daddy, I have a story for you.Read more...
Once upon a time when I was five, I wanted some pets. So, some pets started growing in my tummy. My tummy got very big and sore, so I went to the doctor, and he gave me some medicine. That made me very sleepy, and I went to sleep. While I was asleep they cut a hole in my tummy and brought the pets out. And when I woke up, there were my pets.
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